Reputation VS. Character

Ah, a debate I have been pondering over for quite some time...more recently.  I once had someone tell me that your reputation is all that you had.  This coming from a guy who wanted to be the center of attention and only cared about what people thought of him.  Although I agree on some of his arguments, I was more one of character...sticking strong by my beliefs of what was right and wrong.  We didn't stand a chance, and I wasn't well liked for that.

Lately, learning about military life then and now has me really thinking about what is more important.  Reputation or character?  

Reputation has been defined as:

The beliefs or opinions that are generally held about someone or something. A widespread belief that someone or something has a particular habit or characteristic.

Character has been defined as:

• The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. The distinctive nature of something.

It is not what he had, or even what he does which expresses the worth of a man, but what he is.

• -Henri Frederic Amiel

From my experience, there are obviously good and bad reputations, one taking much longer then another to build.  Amazing how quickly one can crumble though...and with much speculation?!#*  Is there ever a truth to come out though?  This is where I often had trouble.  I will openly admit that I burned bridges or wasn't one to be popular.  Maybe it was because what I thought was wrong (in my head/heart) wasn't a majority decision.  Tough!  Just because someone doesn't go along with what everyone else thinks or feels...do they deserve a negative reputation?  Too often now I see that as the case.  Hard work, strong virtue or character can often lead to a less then stellar reputation because these people stand for what they believe in and are not easily swayed by popular vote.  

I guess my inspiration for this entry is Ryan.  The Air Force is a long standing military branch that serves the greater good with its mission.  But, what if there are people with true valuable character who do serve the greater good whose reputations are tainted by others who simply don't like them or agree?  They can actually sway people's opinions of this persons reputation based on hear-say.  Character then looses...but should it?

  His reputation is what men say he is. That can be damaged; but reputation is for time, character is for eternity.
-John B. Gough

If reputation is all you have, then what does your character stand for?  I have a strong sense of character. I am extremely loyal and if people cross me, I will be honest, I have a difficult time forgiving them.  Trust is important to me.  For people to know exactly where they stand with me and can accept me for the good and bad, then that is more important then reputation.  If we all agreed and always cared about how people felt about us, we'd rarely take risks and get things done.  

I'd rather stand by and support Ryan and his character.  He isn't perfect...who is?  He would rather stand proud and work hard...knowing who he is and what he has to offer...then to waste time arguing with people who don't like him and feel the need to taint his reputation.  Those people are working against the greater good of the mission.  Just sayin'.  

So, what is more important to you..reputation or character?

Rouladen's Rock My German World

After having a few posts in for my first week of this...I wanted to focus on some fun antics of daily life in Germany.

When you live in a certain place for a defined amount of time, you seem to get used to what things look like.  Landscapes, billboards along highways, people...that sort of stuff. I definitely got used to our home in Tampa.  A great two-story town-home in the heart of the city.  It was centrally located to some of my favorite places, yet it also provided me an escape from work and reality.  Ryan and I were (ARE) very lucky with that house.  It has a gym, business center, fabulous pool and grill n' chill area.  There is a tiki bar just a short walk outside of the gates.  YES!!!  GATES...safety and security.  I loved that it had nice walk-in closets, full bath tubs for my occasional soaks or the separate laundry room. It had it's moments of weakness though.  Zero counter space for a couple who loves to spread out and cook.  The AC unites were crap (still are) and caused many headaches.  Parking was also a crap shoot...hoping that when you woke up in the morning...your car was still there and not towed the night before.  In many cases in life, you learn to take the good with the bad...make lemonade out of those sour lemons.  I did that with Tampa.  

So, I am currently working on sweetening up my flavor of lemonade here in Germany; and I have found the same types of ingredients here that I did in Tampa.  With any recipe...you have to adjust how much of this or that you put into it.

One thing I love about our German home is the ROULADENS.  I have a fantastic recipe for rouladen which is a great German, slow-cook meat dish stew...now I know that ROULADEN is a word to "roll".  Rouladens on a German home are outside the structure.  Using an electric or hand-held mechanism, you can actually raise or lower these metal rolls that block all light and therefore heat from the inside of your house.  Talk about BRILLIANT German engineering.  These things will make your afternoon nap a delight.  The first few days were were in our friends home visiting, we slept til 1pm because the light was removed from the room.  I wish American homes had this feature.

Another thing that is a wonderful asset to our German home is heated floors.  We haven't experienced winter here yet...but I am sure these will come in handy on the chill of the tile floors.  Along with the heated floors, each bathroom has a heated towel rack.  These Germans have figured some things out in life and embraced them!  Brilliance I tell you!!!!  

Now, many homes in Germany have other features that we wish ours had.  Fireplaces are usually standard along with installed door hooks for hanging things.  Installed doorbells that are rigged to indoor phones for security.  Many nice small features.

But...and yes, there is always a but...there are a few things that will make you want to swear up and down...mine being the OVEN SIZE.  Ryan and I are recently married and with that came gifts just like Christmas. One of these gifts was a fabulous Calphalon lasagna pan.  Lasagna is one of my favorite things to make and I was stoked about this new member to our kitchen family.  After opening it and eyeballing it, I started to get the cold sweats...panicking that OH SHIT, this is NOT going to fit in our German oven.  What am I supposed to do with this lasagna pan for three whole years?  Friends suggested using it as a fruit display.  Maybe even a storage compartment.  But to hell with that, I wanted it for actual lasagna.  So, it is being stored in our pantry in its original box because I refuse to return it.

Another thing that is TRICKY  about German homes is the shower size.  Getting accustomed to the constant increase in obesity in the US has made all of our eyes seem to get bigger.  In Germany, you still see people of all shapes and sizes...but they refuse as a culture to condone or embrace the LARGE scale.  People walk, exercise and take care of themselves.  They do not make walk-in showers or jacuzzi size bathtubs.  Instead...they have stand-up showers.  As you can see from the picture, this shower thing they have going on leaves little room to do anything but get in, shower, and get out.  So, if you are moving to Europe (as I have seen this in many places now), expect things to be on a smaller scale.  

When I was originally looking at homes to rent online prior to getting here, I was falling in love with all of the old ones.  You know...the quaint ones with charm, character and OH, A LOT MORE WORK TO BE DONE TO THEM!!!!  Ryan and I didn't write them off as no good.  We were willing to embrace living off base in every aspect.  We had officially one week to find a home before they forced us into a 2 bedroom apartment home on base or cut-off our temp living expenses.  Go Figure!  So, out we hustled to the mad dashery of German house hunting.  This would have been a perfect show for House Hunters International.  When we saw homes we liked from the outside...they were crap on the inside. Mold, mildew...permanent state of moist.  ICK!  Ones we liked inside were often faceless or emotionless on the outside.  Cinder block squares of less then creative architectural design.  That was until we found Dr. Zeigler's small beauty.  Our house is tucked away in a small courtyard off a small road to a small village.  Nothing fancy which is just the way we like it.  Although the outside is cement, it has a shade of blue to it while also having beautiful accents of wood beams.  Not so bad for the outside.  Then you step into something that has a touch of old-world character and modern day convenience.  The house's interior of exposed wooden beams, terra cotta colored floor tiles, wood molding and an open feel of our home in Tampa.  It isn't big like the other two homes we liked (see...perfect candidates for House Hunters Int'l).  Ryan and I had to keep reminding ourselves that we didn't need a lot of space.  It's just the two of us...no kids yet, no pets yet...minimal guests and way less space to work my Cinderella cleaning magic on it.  It was a great choice and we are happy to call it home for the next period of time.

This brings me to my closing thought.  HOME.  I have learned that HOME is just a state of mind.  A home can be a physical place...but it can also be a place in your heart and in your head.  I don't even know where I would call home these days.  I guess, anywhere that Ryan and I find ourselves...TOGETHER.  To me, that is home.

What or where do you consider home?

Erica

Oh The Places You WIll Go!

One of the silver linings I have embraced with this whole move to Germany thing is that Ryan and I are centrally located in Europe.  This is VERY convenient for travel.  Ryan was in the UK for 9 years of his life while his dad was stationed there.  Me, I have been to some crazy places, but never Europe.  This was something I was looking forward to taking advantage of while we lived here.  My maiden is very German...Bavarian actually to be more specific.  Ryan claims that we have come back to the "fatherland" so I can get in touch with my Bavarian beer wenching, dirndle wearing, cuckoo-cuckoo clock chiming roots.  Yes, I married him!  

I must say, in the five months we have lived here, we have done a fair amount of traveling in Germany and in a few bordering countries.  I am a little disappointed in the European Union though.  As a kid, even a young adult, one of my favorite things about international travel (yes, even crossing over the Canadian border in Detroit) was getting my passport stamped.  In a sense, it is an immediate reward for going out and doing something.  Well, times have changed...and if you cross the border in most EU countries...THEY DON"T DO THAT ANYMORE!!!!  Sob, sigh...poo!  Now, I just collect post-cards to say "yeah, I've been there..done that."  I have tried to capture many abroad memories through pictures which has been splendid; so I hear from family and friends.  

Ryan and I had been living in temporary housing on base for about a week when we went on a drive to Munich to visit one of his friends.  We got a thorough visual on German's landscape which is sometimes a Hodge-podge of many US states.  We are lucky to live within the wine region...I mean HUGE region.  The Mosel and Rhine actually connect near us.  They have the most beautiful vineyards that I have seen.  I love Napa, don't get me wrong.  But, each "step" of the incline is consumed by row after row and vine after vine of grapes..specializing in Riesling.  Then you add the charm and romance of a 100-200 year old farm house or German "chalet" and it is like something out of a movie.  Ryan and I not have not actually done a wine tour yet at one of the many vineyards, or done the river wine tours which are so popular.  We are waiting for friends and family to visit so we can all get happy on the Mosel.  We have however gone to one of many we are planning on...wine-fests. Coming up in September is the World's largest wine festival in Bad Durkheim.  I have heard that it is something of a wine freakshow...I am STOKED about this.  Getting back to the wine fest though...Ryan came home from work on about his second week being there.  On a typical Friday night in Tampa you could find us at Pizzaiola having dinner, so I was in the mood to get out and do something.  SHOCKER!  I had read that there was a wine-fest in Karlstadt along the Deutsche Weinstrasse (German Wine Street)...YES...There is a whole street dedicated to wine (it stretches for miles upon miles.)  So, I brought up the idea to Ryan and he was up for it.  It took 30 minutes to drive and then we were there.  Tucked into the central area of this town were restaurants or vinters(wine makers) spilling out into courtyards with tables, live music and huge glasses of wine...I am talking like pint size.  We cozied up and found ourselves sandwiched between two very nice German couples and started up a long night of fuzzy, wine drunk conversations.  It was awesome.  Although moving here has been a total challenge, Ryan and I do appreciate things off the beaten path and do want to try to immerse into local culture.  That being said, we saw NO AMERICANS that night and we liked it that way.  In a sense we feel that our efforts in trying to do as the locals do helps our street cred!  We still talk about how much fun that night was and we look forward to Bad Durkheim in a few weeks.

Yes...that is all German wine!!!!  Holy hangover the next day!

Another wonderful trip that we took was to Lucerne, Switzerland (CH).  Ryan and I had just gotten back from our Wedding in Michigan and were looking to do a honeymoon for a long weekend.  We will plan to do more glamorous, longer trips when time allows with Ryan's work.  This was a perfect trip though.  I tell people that we were only in this neutral Country for 3 days and I felt like I had been there for 3 weeks.  

There is nothing neutral about Switzerland.  Ryan had always talked about how beautiful it was there and how difficult it was to describe the natural beauty.  He was so right.  After checking into our chalet, we took a few bottles of champagne (hey, don't judge...we're on our honeymoon) and went down to the lake front of Lake Lucerne.  We found some lounge chairs and toasted to the Alps.  

I mean...it was BEAUTIFUL.  The whole trip was us unwinding after weeks of being on the go and at our best.  Here, we could be us and be with each other.  We enjoyed Swiss fondue (yum...yum...yum), hiked to Pilatus to a tip top peak of the Alps and toured around the city of Lucerne.  I did drag Ryan to a few places that Rick Steve's had seen (I am a huge Rock Steve's nerd) and we saw the Lion.  This stone carving could possibly bring tears to your eyes.  It is the largest rock carving I have seen.  Still need to make my way to Rushmore.  But, it wasn't just the size, but more the content.  Sad.  Ryan and I are people that discuss how good leaders are willing to fall on their sword for what they believe is truly right even though it may not be popular.  To me, this sculpture illustrated that.  If you ever make it to Lucerne, try to see this magnificent piece of art.

I could keep writing about how we went to Venice, Italy, Heidelberg, Baden-Baden, Dachau, Trier (all in Germany), Luxembourg and still aren't even close to being done.  

So, while I pretend to collect stamps in my passport, make a bucket list of places that you want to travel and see in your lifetime.  Ryan and I did that before we came here and our list is still growing.  It is important to have that list because time goes too fast in life and sometimes we as humans are not good at making time to just LIVE!!!!

So, in doing what the Germans do...I toast to you for being patient and kind for post #2.

Probst!

Erica

Inspiration

I wasn't sure I would ever be a blog writer.  My friends that have them are witty, verbose and excellent story tellers.  Me, I am more of a rambler.  I am taking my friend Daynas' advice and embarking on this blog adventure to document the up's and down's of my (our) life.  Be kind and patient as you read this...it is not all fun and pretty...sometimes I will get ugly, maybe even sad.  I promise you that it will not be an account of fifty shades of this or twilight vampire this.  So here it goes.

Once upon a time there was a girl looking for her frog prince...

After many frogs hopped to another lily pad...she met one that was willing to walk along with her...case in point~

They lived happily ever after!

WAIT!!!  If I was writing this, then we most certainly did not live happily ever after.  Now, I know you are thinking, "wow, what a way to sell out your husband."  This is not the case.  Being a teacher I have always had the attitude that you never stop learning.  Ryan and I are a perfect example of this from our friendship, dating and marriage.  It also applies to our individual lives with friends, work and family.  People say that their relationship or marriage may be special or an exception to so many things...from this I will claim that our's has been anything but NORMAL.  

Ryan and I have different backgrounds from each other.  I was raised a down-to-earth Midwestern girl with some athletic abilities and a strictly average college transcript.  I was however talented at tricking kids into thinking that school is cool.  I was pretty much an only child, my "half"-sister(let's try sister), was 13 years my senior and for a long time we had little to compare in our life story.  She stayed in Michigan to start her life while I fled to Florida to find a teaching job.  I will save you all the hum-drum of that part of my life.  It took 8 years in the sunshine state before I met Ryan.

Ryan was raised an Air Force "brat" living in many places, starting over many times.  He is the oldest of three...they had each other to get through the transitions of a move.  He was always talented in athletics and like me was a "meh" type of student.  The kid managed to survive the AF Academy and then went on as a pilot in the AF.  Not too shabby.  After his 2nd assignment he ran...literally, across me.  

This is where we can start...officially.  I won't do an instant rewind, play-by-play theatrics.  As I blog about things that come to mind, I may add anecdotes of our/my past to supports thoughts or feelings so you can get the picture.

Anyways, see rambling already!  Ryan and I dated seriously in between AF trainings, deployments, surgeries...did I mention LIFE?  We got engaged a year after meeting and then married 6 months after that.  Legally that is.  We did have our beautiful wedding after the fact.

This marriage was quickly followed by a tough time in life.  Medical issues, career set-backs and plain old change.  In March of 2012 we got orders to move to Germany.  Yes, the Country in Europe.  We both wanted this big move and figured it was the best time in our life to do it.  Let me rephrase...I REALLY wanted this move.  Ryan was supportive and open to anywhere because I was so OK with going anywhere.  These were words and thoughts that would bite me in the butt for many months after the fact.

Moving to Germany was a lot like when I moved to Florida.  I didn't know anyone, didn't know my way around and was starting fresh if you will.  There is a kicker here though...the language barrier.  The move in itself was pretty easy thanks to great moving companies and help from friends/family.  But, what was to come set me back.  A lot.  I have always been such an independent person.  I am proud of it and so is Ryan.  I had a career that I was good at, I knew my way around Florida better then most natives, had friends all over and knew of the best places to eat.  Now I was moving to a foreign country for my first military move, giving up my career at a school I LOVED (which was also family), saying goodbye to my family for the unforeseeable future and relying on my husband.  ICK!  

This was a lot to swallow.  So many life changing events to happen in such a short amount of time finally caught up to me.  Not to mention all the small changes I hadn't even thought about.  These small speed-bumps collected and built on each other to the point where they actually hurt.  New German cell #'s (totally confusing), German Voicemail to set-up (now FB friends with my cell phone sales girl Nicole), German housing, shopping and navigating the roads!!!!  All of these small things added to my big things was too much for me.  I found myself feeling lonely, dependent and completely cut-off from a life I had known and felt comfortable with.  Talk about a blow!  Ryan didn't always see why I was so upset, I mean, after all I wanted this move.  Lesson 1 of my Germany move:  "Be careful what you wish for!"

I am not some brat complaining about living in Germany.  I promise.  But until you have walked in the shoes of someone who just did what I did...don't call me names.  This was most definitely that hardest time of my life thus far.  I now understand what a leash feels like to a dog.

It has now been 5 months that we have been living here and I can say that it is getting easier, maybe even better.  But like many things in life, I have my really good days, my really bad days and some that are vanilla flavored.  I will spare you the fine details of my adjusting to things here, I am sure that will come up in posts from time-to-time.  I have needed to call friends and family, questioning what I was thinking in wanting to do this.  It has taken reassurance from Ryan that YES, I can really do this.  That I am stronger then I give myself credit for.  Ryan laughs (in a nervous ha-ha way)...he says he married one wife with the personalities of 15 women.  Poor guy.

This brings me back to the lesson of life learning.  Even though the days haven't always bee good here, I have tried to stay humble and open to learning opportunities.  It has been a really good time of personal reflection and character improvement.  I hope that you find some things here that cause you to reflect or think outside of your norm.

That is enough for today,

Signing off

Erica